Sarcasm sucks. Please do not use sarcasm again.
It seems funny to knock people, to question their intelligence, their virility, their style. And everyone else is doing it, so why the ban?
Sarcasm is always an attack. There is always some little piece of that “victim’s” mind that shrinks back and is hurt by it. It hurts others and you could be hurting yourself, too!
Imagine… You walk into a room sporting a new haircut, feeling pretty good about it. A couple of people say nice things like, “New haircut? Looks great.” and “That cut really brings out your eyes.”
One person, the “funny” one says, “Did you cut it yourself?” Everyone laughs at the slight ribbing, even you. After all, it’s just a joke.
But, I guarantee that there is a small part of you that winces; that says, “Does it really look bad? Are those other folks just being nice?” You’ve laughed along and not falsely. We’ve been trained to think that sarcasm is funny.
But I want you to consider whether it’s worth it to hurt others for the laugh? I searched Google Images for Sarcasm and found a lot of pro-sarcasm pics. Most of them include sarcasm inside (recursion for the win!). Even the fake definition abuses people.
I used to be terribly sarcastic. After all, I’m one of the “funny” ones and everything is fair game. Funny comes from a skew and the unexpected. We expect people to be kind and social. So, the rude thing is unexpected and we’re jolted a bit and laugh.
The thing is, it’s a sophomoric, easy kind of humor. Be smarter. Unless you’re wallowing in dick jokes and poop humor, I think you could elevate your game. (And if you are in that space, you REALLY need to elevate your game.)
I was talking to a younger gent about this a while back. His defense was that it was fun to be amongst your friends, ragging on each other. It was a common, fun thing they all just do. They would try to top each other for kicks. Reminds me of “the dozens” where people would freestyle bashing on each other, especially with a lot of “yo’ mama…” jokes. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dozens
So, maybe it does cause a reflexive snort. Maybe there even is some sort of camaraderie built around it. But, wouldn’t you rather hear things that are funny and make you think? Wouldn’t you like to have fun friends that build you up rather than ones that tear you down for a laugh?
It might work, but it’s a low and dangerous humor.
It’s not only bad for the “butt” of the joke. Think about this… If you are the one that says the snarky thing, even if you get the laugh, the victim sometimes consciously thinks, “Jerk” and some of the others that hear it may think the same.
If it comes off a little meaner than you expected, everyone that hears it now thinks less of you. They just found out you’re mean-spirited (or ignorant). You just wanted to be funny, but now you have given people one little bit of a reason to dislike you.
I’m not saying you need to please everyone, never offend, or be meek necessarily. Just on a high level, it’s my guess that you’d probably rather have more people like you than not.
Again, these people might not even consciously register that you just went down a notch “in their book.” But it’s happening. Why walk the fine line of “How mean is funny?” and “How mean is just mean?”?
One day you may be wondering why your dance card isn’t full. People sort of shy away and you don’t know why. There wasn’t one thing you did to bug or hurt anyone. But perhaps a hundred small things that you didn’t really notice were adding up.
I’ve mostly eliminated it from my life, but years of training and habit make it hard to root out completely. I certainly feel like a better person for the effort AND I guarantee that I’m just as fun and funny as ever. I hope you will work at it, too.
If you’re smart, you’ll stop being sarcastic.
And I know you are smart… and funny… and good-looking, too!
(No sarcasm intended!)
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