Why Speaking Feels Like Skydiving

(And Why You Should Do It Anyway)

There’s a reason public speaking feels terrifying.

Not “I’m a little nervous” terrifying.
More like “Something is deeply wrong and I should not be doing this” terrifying.

That reaction isn’t random. It’s biological.

In the animal world, there are few worse places to be than:

• Out in the open
• Nothing to hide behind
• No weapons
• A group of other creatures staring directly at you

That’s not a presentation. That’s lunch. And you’re it.

So when you stand up in a meeting or prepare to speak in front of a group, your brain goes:

“We should not be here. This is a terrible idea.”

And to be fair… that instinct is about two million years old.

It’s just no longer accurate.

The Skydiving Problem

It’s a lot like skydiving, actually.

You get on the plane.
Everything is fine. Until it isn’t.

The higher you go, the more your mind starts to chatter:
“This seems unnecessary.”
– “This seems like a mistake.”
– – “This is definitely a mistake.”

Then the door opens.
And suddenly every survival instinct you’ve ever inherited shows up at once, screaming:
“This is literally the worst idea you’ve ever had.”

Here’s the interesting part.
Those instincts are trying to protect you. They’re just wildly out of date.

People jump out of planes every day and land safely.
People speak in meetings every day and survive.

If speaking actually killed people, I’d understand the fear.

But it doesn’t.

The Moment Most People Back Out

At the edge of the plane, you have two options:

1. Listen to the voice
2. Jump anyway

In skydiving, the decision is made before you get on the plane. It’s too expensive to change your mind at the last second.

In speaking and in most professional settings, the decision happens in real time.

And in that moment, most people listen to the voice.

They stay quiet in meetings. They pass on presenting. They wait until they feel “ready.”
Which, conveniently, never arrives.

This is a pattern that compounds. One quiet moment becomes a habit. And the habit becomes an identity: “I’m just not a confident speaker.”

Spoiler: they are. They just haven’t gotten through that initial fear yet.

What Happens If You Jump

The first few seconds are exactly what you expect.

Your entire system lights up.
Adrenaline. Noise. Chaos

Your mind screams, “See? I told you!”

And then something interesting happens.
You don’t die.

In fact, after that initial surge, there’s a shift:
Clarity. Focus. Awareness.

You’re still falling. But now you’re present.

Speaking works the same way.

The beginning is the hardest part. The anticipation is almost always worse than the reality. And once someone is in it, actually talking, actually connecting, their brain catches up fast.

The problem isn’t ability. It’s the story people tell themselves in the 30 seconds before they open their mouth.

A Simple Way to Start Rewiring This

You don’t need to jump out of a plane. (I mean, you could. It will definitely change the way you operate in the world!)

You just need to start proving your brain wrong in smaller ways.

Try this the next time you’re in a meeting:

• Say one thing earlier than you normally would
• Not perfect, not polished, just… said

That’s it.

You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re just interrupting the pattern.

Because every time you do that, your brain updates slightly. “Oh. We did that. And we’re still alive.”

Do that a few times and something shifts.

What This Means for Your Team

Here’s what most communication training misses:

You can’t think your way out of a fear response. You can’t workshop it away with slides and frameworks.

You have to move through it.

And the only way to do that is repetition. Real reps, in a room, with other people watching.

Not practicing alone. Not rehearsing to a mirror. Actually doing the thing, in front of humans, and surviving it.

Do it a handful of times and the story starts to change. Not because someone told you to believe in yourself. Because you have actual evidence now.

Once the fear loses its grip, everything gets easier: Speaking up in meetings. Pitching ideas to leadership. Running a room. Coaching teams.

These aren’t separate skills that need separate training. They’re all downstream of one thing: the ability to stand in front of people and not disappear.

Confidence doesn’t come before the action. It’s what’s left after you survive the thing you thought might kill you. Over and over again.

That’s not a mindset shift. That’s just exposure. Done enough times, it just works.

One of the things I say most when coaching presenters is simple:
“Get more reps!”
Because every time you get up in front of people, it gets a little easier.

Final Thought

Your fear isn’t wrong. It’s just outdated. And the fastest way to update it isn’t to think differently. It’s to act. Then let your brain catch up.

This is one of the simplest patterns we work on in workshops.
And one of the fastest to change once people experience it.

Because once people experience it firsthand, they stop waiting to feel ready.

They start acting like they already are.